"The Little Town That Could" My hometown's motto. Let me further say I think this is pointing to "The Little Town That Could Have Babies". In the past two years since Aaron and I moved away from home, at least seven of our friends have added tiny humans to their lives. Now when I open my snapchat in the morning, the first couple handfuls of accounts are full of the most adorable babies. Clearly there is something in the water. But wait, I grew up drinking the same water. What happened to me? Maybe it's because I wasn't paying attention when I was growing up, but I don't really remember anybody ever talking about infertility or hearing about anybody who was struggling to conceive. I grew up in a small town, not a whole lot of private business either. Depending on which specific stat you look at, any where from 13 to 16% of women have trouble getting or staying pregnant. Given these numbers you would think that somebody I know would have experienced it. Apparently, I may be that person.
I am so exceptionally happy for each of our friends blessed with happy, healthy babies, one of which is actually my nephew and he's pretty stinkin' cute, but if we are being honest there is a part of me that hesitates before I look at the snapchat stories every day. It's not jealousy. It's more sadness and a little frustration. Sadness that I don't have a mini me to love and snuggle and frustration that I haven't been able to do for Aaron what all my friends have done for their husbands and carry a child that's a perfect mix of the two of them. Maybe we just need to move back home and start chugging the water. (Just for the record, I'm not quite delusional enough to believe this). Soon enough. Soon enough I tell myself before we have some answers about our fertility. Soon enough I tell myself before we have a baby P keeping us up all night. Soon enough I tell myself we will be parents. Soon enough I tell myself before we get to visit home with a baby to call our own.
After spending part of the afternoon with my friend's sweet little girl today, my ovaries ache. They are screaming inside me! Luckily this friend of mine sent me home with a Christmas canister of cookies, sweets, and diabetes. So instead of running my miles today, I'm just chilling here with my canister and my Lifetime Tinsel Tuesday cozying up for a nap before my overtime nightshift. Make that money! Gotta buy more diapers and keep the stock growing. Today, Miles to Motherhood meets Cookies to Motherhood. Cheers (with my oat milk)!